Introduction
Body image is something people commonly struggle with at some point in their lives. It’s a topic that can feel sensitive, even taboo, but it’s one that we need to talk about—especially when it comes to how it affects our sex lives.
From a young age, we begin to form an image of what our bodies should look like. These ideas don’t just appear out of nowhere; they’re shaped by family, friends, media, and the cultures we grow up in. We are told—sometimes subtly, sometimes explicitly—that if our bodies don’t fit a certain mold, we won’t be desired, loved, or happy.
The Weight of Cultural Messaging
As a queer Latina therapist, I’ve seen firsthand how these messages impact people’s self-esteem and relationships. In the Latinx community, it’s common to hear labels like gorda or flaca thrown around casually, often by family members who think they’re being affectionate or helpful. Growing up in the U.S., these messages only intensified—you’re not skinny enough, you’re too fat, you should cover up, you should lose weight. These comments become ingrained, shaping the way we see ourselves and, ultimately, how we show up in intimate spaces.
How Body Image Shapes Sexual Confidence
When we internalize negative beliefs about our bodies, it can show up in our sex lives in ways we might not even realize:
- Feeling self-conscious about being naked or seen by a partner.
- Avoiding certain positions or activities due to fear of judgment.
- Struggling with arousal or orgasm because of anxiety about appearance.
- Associating desirability with unrealistic body standards rather than connection and pleasure.
Reclaiming Our Bodies, Reclaiming Pleasure
So, how do we unlearn these harmful beliefs and start embracing our bodies as they are?
- Challenge the Narrative – Notice where these ideas about your body came from and question them. Whose standards are you holding yourself to?
- Practice Self-Compassion – Speak to yourself with kindness. Your body is worthy of love, pleasure, and acceptance.
- Find What Feels Good – Focus on what makes you feel sexy and connected rather than what you think you “should” look like.
- Communicate With Your Partner – Open conversations about insecurities can foster deeper intimacy and understanding.
Your body is not the problem—society’s unrealistic standards are. Pleasure, intimacy, and confidence aren’t reserved for a specific body type. The more we challenge these harmful narratives, the more we create space for authentic, fulfilling sexual experiences.
What has helped you embrace your body and sexuality? If you need help, contact me today.