While exhausted parents, especially those with demanding lives, families, etc., can feel as though sex is just one more thing on their proverbial to do list, it doesn’t have to be. Remember, once upon a time, sex was fun? That’s how you ending up with those never-ending bundles of energy you call children… having great sex.
Well, you can still have great sex as a tired, overworked parent.
How Sex Gets Relegated in the Relationship:
Part of how sex gets relegated to the back of the closet and forgotten about is because you’re tired. Time since exciting sex may have blurred that memory, and innovation got lost in transition.
How to Fix It:
However, trying something different and sneaking it in while the kids are busy/sleeping/away can reinvigorate some of the excitement that sex once held for you. Treat sex as special time for you as a couple by creating time for it like a date; call for a sitter, send the kids to grandma, or even just wait for them to be occupied/in bed can give you just enough time to get back to each other. I also recommend to my clients [sometimes] to plan for it like a vacation, and use it as something to look forward to. While planned sex doesn’t always sound exciting, if you think of it more like a trip you’re getting ready for, it might remove some of the stigma. When all is said, and done, you might not be so tired once you’re finished.
Here Are 6 Sex Tips for Exhausted Parents:
- Spoon position – A great position for when one or both of you is tired! You both lie on your side, with him entering from behind. This still allows access for one of you to reach her clitoris. The overall position does not require a huge amount of energy to pull off, once he is in. That part can provide a bit of work, depending, since it’s rear entry on your side. It is a great way to just be close, to feel each other. With a bit of tweaking, it is also a great rear entry position for deep penetration.
- Scissor – Another positon to be done with both partners lying down. She lies on her back, him on his side for entry. With one of his legs between her legs, it can provide friction for her clitoris. The position still allows access for either partner to provide clitoral stimulation.
- The T – If she is the really tired partner, she can lie on the bed with her butt at the edge of the bed. He stands in front of her to penetrate. This works great if the bed height and his height aren’t at odds. If he is much taller, try bolstering her butt up with pillows. It’s also great for a different sensation/angles of penetration, based on his height and her feet/leg positioning. If she needs external stimulation for orgasm, she will have to manually stimulate or grab a toy to help out.
- Reverse Spoon – Similar to the spoon, but from opposite ends. You both lie on your sides, but with his feet behind her head. Another good way to lay down for sex, but still be able to touch each other. If there is a foot fetish involved, this provides access to the feet during sex as well.
- Lazy doggie – Traditional doggy style, but for those with less energy. He enters from behind, but rests his (some, most?) weight on top of her during sex. Great angle for deep penetration. She may need a bolster under her hips for best results, and less energy spent.
- Face to face on the couch – Straddle your man while he’s on the couch, or sitting upright in some variety. Think cowgirl position, with him sitting up instead of laying down. If he is more tired, this allows her to do more of the work while they both still enjoy. Also gives him access to play while she handles the ride.